Dear Button,

My dear, sweet, precious, little button,


I can not believe you are here. I can not believe we can hold you in our arms and actually love on you. You arrived Thursday May 31st at 5:37 pm. I will never be able to look at that time on the clock again without thinking of you and when you entered the world.

Screaming, they placed you on my chest and I knew things would never again be the same. I knew then, that my heart would forever be yours.

I often wondered, as I felt you moving inside of me, what your sweet face would look like. Would you resemble me? Or would you look like your dad? Would I recognize you? The first time I held you I had my answer. There you were kicking and screaming and I knew your face immediately. It had been engraved in my heart all along and I felt like I'd known you for eternity. You were destined to be my baby girl and I was made to be your mother.

There are things I never want to forget about that day so I want to jot them down.

I was often terrified of your Father's ability to be an attentive birth partner. Let me tell you something, he was amazing. You will learn that about your Dad. He always comes through when things get tough, and he will always be someone you want fighting for your cause. He is determined, turns out so are you. I know where you get that from. He whispered words of encouragement when I thought the pain would never end. And he held my hand and reminded of how much I loved him. I am so grateful we were able to create such a beautiful being together. We were able to create you. And he rubbed my arm, cheered me on,  and together we brought you in to this world. Side by side. Let it not be forgotten I did most of the work :) and I was so glad he didn't pass out. He also told me I was a total  rock star.  I love thinking about how much you will love him when you get older and understand things a little better. He is a keeper.

It all happened so fast, and slow at the same time. I remember when they put you on my chest I looked at the 2 nurses and the 2 doctors. Dr. Fischer (my doctor) was there but it was the resident who delivered you while she oversaw things. Actually for some of it she sat on the chair and watched Real Housewives of New York City ( a show you are never allowed to watch). I remember looking at the 4 of them and thanking them through sobs. I thanked them for helping you get here safely.

Then I looked at your Dad. And Hazel, I never want to forget the look on his face. I knew right then you had stolen his heart. And I was absolutely okay with that. I want to remember forever the look in his eyes as he wiped the tears away with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. Then he kissed me on the cheek and told me good job while he rubbed my head. 

Then they weighed you and announced that you weighed 6lbs and 3.1ounces! And 20 inches long! We were so excited, you see, they were worried about you being very small. They even did a special ultrasound a couple of weeks before and estimated that you weighed around 4lbs 11ounces.  We were so glad you were bigger than that.

We never stopped praying in the hospital. Your father and I. We thanked Heavenly Father that you had gotten here safely. We thanked him for the spirit you brought with you. You have such a sweet spirit about you. I just know you are going to be a special girl.

 

Family came to visit in the hospital and family that couldn't visit sent you things. And we skyped some of those who were far away! You are so loved already. Your Aunt Natalie wrote you a special card that I read to you the night you were born. She's pretty special too. All of your family thinks you are pretty neat. Grandpa Virg thought it was pretty cute how you would bring your hands up to your face and hide behind them. You are lucky to have so many people who cherish you. Don't ever forget that. 

That Saturday morning they came in and told us you had failed your hearing screening and you had jaundice. Both not very serious things but they sound horrifying to first time parents. No one told us until later that it's perfectly normal for newborns to fail their hearing screening the 1st and sometimes 2nd time. So we prayed some more. We prayed that you would pass the next time and we prayed that you we would be able to take you home with a billy blanket instead of leaving you overnight in the hospital under the 'tanning bed' lights. They took you away from us to do some more testing and together your Dad and I had a nice good cry. And we prayed some more. Don't worry you passed your hearing screening the second time. And you came home with that rotten billy blanket, but truth be told it could've been worse and hey, we got to bring you home! I swear your Dad was NOT leaving that hospital without you. Even if it meant he slept in the parking lot.

Hazel, I haven't stopped praying since I got admitted to the hospital early that Thursday morning. I want you to know you are a daughter of a God who loves you so very much. And he will answer your prayers. Don't ever stop praying. Don't ever stop talking to him and thanking him for your blessings. We are so blessed.

Your Grandma Lulu flew in on Saturday the 9th and she is pretty much obsessed with you. She says you resemble me when I was a baby. We will all be sad when she leaves. She has bought us groceries, baked, cooked, cleaned, changed diapers, done laundry. I really haven't done anything but feed you since she got here. We are lucky to have her. I never realized how much I treasured my mother until I became one myself. 

We got rid of the billy blanket on Tuesday the 12th and I'm almost positive you did a little happy dance jig with your long legs.

Well baby girl, it is getting late and I have a feeling I won't be getting much sleep tonight. I just wanted to document some of my favorite moments from the past couple of weeks. We are so happy you are here. It seems like you've been here all along, and we are so thankful for you. I wanted to tell you what peace you bring to our home, even with the crying and late night feedings and the messy diapers we wouldn't trade you for anything.

You, my dear, are our greatest treasure.

Love Always,
Your Mother