Friday, July 30, 2010

Did I tell you about that one time?

In high school I refused to use my locker.

I used to get nervous about being late to class.

Like really, really nervous.

I've since been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

So...maybe that explains some things from back in the day.

Or maybe it's an excuse. Not really sure.

Anyways I literally used to carry ALL of my books in my backpack. I bet it weighed 50 pounds.

It was always totally bulging.

In fact, my dad #2 used to make fun of me for it.

Technically he's my 'stepdad' but that's such an ugly word. However, I don't want you thinking I have two dads' and that they are gay. Not that being gay is bad. That's just not the case with my dads'.

Back on track here.

One time I swear my heavy backpack saved my life. I was climbing up the cement stairs to our apartment and I missed the top step;

I then proceeded to tumble down 15 cement stairs and landed on my back(pack). I'm pretty sure I could have been paralyzed. Okay maybe not injured that severely but it could've been worse.
It could've been better? But it definitely could have been worse :)

Dad #2 insisted that the weight of the backpack is what caused me to fall ALL the way down the stairs. I will eternally disagree. It saved my life.

So there's a little background to prepare you for my next story.

I've always been a packer I guess. Overstuffed my backpack in high school and since then it's transferred over to my purses.

I always have way too much crap in my purse. Kylee stood on the scale with my purse a couple of months ago. When I took the purse away from her she weighed ten pounds less.

Ten pounds? Really what could I need so badly that caused my purse to weigh ten pounds?


Anyways so a few years ago I walked myself in to Target with my heavy purse.

I decided I really needed to go to the restroom. So I cautiously glanced at the Women's room door trying to debate if I could hold it for another couple of hours (that's usually the minimum amount of time I spend in Target, anyone else have this problem?)

I couldn't hold it.

So I ventured into the restroom and reminded myself of my personal motto for using public restrooms. Are you ready ladies?

Hover, unless you're going to cover.

So seeing as how I had to go super bad I decided to hover (TMI? sorry, stop reading then).

I hung my ginormous and morbidly obese purse on the hook of the door.

Then I put my head down and got to business.

I'm not sure if I had drank 4 gallons of water earlier that day or what but I had to hover for a long time that day.

When I looked up (still going to the bathroom) I discovered that my freaking heavy purse had swung the door open and standing right there was a lady looking at me with her eyeballs about to pop out of her head.

"This is uncomfortable." I stated. Then I shut the door.

Please tell me that I am not the only one that awkward stuff like this happens too? I mean are you joking me right now?

I've since then tried to scale back the amount of crap I keep in my purses. When your purse is so heavy that the gravity of it's weight can open bathroom stall doors you have a problem.

You should share your humiliating moments in my comment box. That way when I reflect on my most embarrassing moments I can reflect on yours too.

Anyone? Anyone?

Monday, July 5, 2010

Busy Bee

Sometimes I see pictures of my dog and I (like Corey) forget that she is not a human child.

Because truth be told I love her like a human.


I would be totally fine if my future children possessed qualities similar to those of Bailey.

For example;

She loves to cuddle. I hope my babies love to snuggle.

She takes lots of naps during the day allowing me to get lots done and take some naps myself.

She only eats once a convenient is that?

However, I will be totally fine if my kids don't go potty in the yard.

Also it would not be cool if my children licked my feet like Bailey has been licking my feet the whole time I've been constructing this post.

I mean enough is enough Bailey, get a grip.

In other news I have kind of abandoned my blog this past month.

How sad is that?

Its because I've been working on something and it's kind of consumed my computer time.

I set up a website for my photography! Hurray.

Are you so excited?

Are you so excited you peed your pants? Don't lie.

Anyways you should put a link to my website on the side of your blog.....

Wouldn't that be fun?

I know my sister Natalie will do it.

Cause she is a true fan.

Are you?

Post Edit: I guess you can't link up to my photography if you don't have the site... Right Deborah?