Monday, July 27, 2009

Everybody C.U.T.

Do you have one of these in your family?

It's a Crazy Uncle Timmy.
Get it?

In my opinion you probably should consider yourself deprived if your family is void someone so interesting.

Now let me tell you.

I have got quite a few crazy uncles.

But Tim Brown, you are one of my favorite.

You know him.

He's not the dad who jokes about pulling out the rifle when young men come to pick up his daughters.

He's the dad that actually does it.

Seriously though can you blame him?

He's the guy that wears shirts like the one pictured above.

Two guns blazing.

"Snitches are a dying breed."

So true Tim. So true.

He's the guy that hunts scorpions come summer time.

Literally hunts them.

Nat didn't believe us until we took her in the garage and showed her his gear.


That is a spatula and a trash picker upper.

The only piece missing is the black light which he straps to his head.

I am being serious.

Oh, did I mention he collects them in a big orange bucket?

Well he does.

Don't believe me?

See for yourself.

I dare you to enlarge these pictures.

I know its blurry but see how they glow via black light in the dark?

I believe he has over 150 in his bucket.

He's also the guy who grabs an identical bucket (empty) walks in the house and pretends to trip and spill them all over Grandma Sonja.

And she is the lady that screams/borderline cries and swears at him.

On Christmas he will always set the camera on a tripod and hit record.

He leaves it there all day long hoping to catch someone doing something embarrassing.

I always turn it off cause I know that someone will be me.

And that is the last thing I need.

Timmy owning visual proof of me doing something totally ridiculous.

No thanks.

I know you are thinking;

'Wow this guy is a little crazy'.

I have to tell you though.

He is also CRAZY about his family.

His children and wife will never doubt his love for them.

It manifests itself in everything he does.

I have never doubted that my Uncle Tim would do anything I asked.

Seriously don't double cross me.

He would probably burn your house down at my request.

Just kidding.

Or am I?

I think one of the reasons I love him most is because of the 5 awesome cousins he's given me.

I guess I owe Mysti for that too.

I have the best family.

Corey said to me once that he would have 12 kids if they were all like Tim and Mysti's.

I totally agreed.

Uncle Timmy is so much fun.

He can make you laugh like nobody's business.

I would like to think some of my cleverness was inherited from him.

Even though we don't share any genetics.

All that being said he may be eccentric.

And goofy.

Slightly ridiculous.

Totally crazy.

But I thought he was someone who deserved a little shout out.

I appreciate you Tim and you are totally my fave.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Okay Seriously

Father's Weekend is not over but due to our move I lost the photos I really wanted to use for my next couple of posts. I will keep looking dilligently.

Until then I leave you with this.

Freakin' P90x.
Which I had been doing faithfully.
Until I got sick.
It seriously is one of the most challenging workouts I've ever done.
Tony and 'the team' like to finish off each work out with a high five.
Then they all yell in perfect unison "BRING IT!"
I like to finish off each work out by throwing up in a bucket.
Then yelling "HELP ME!"
Okay not really. But some days it feels like that.
I was real proud of myself for being so consistent and strong.
Then my cousin Taylor informed she just picked up a new little hobby herself.

If you will.

Really Taylor?

The Silk ropes?


You are totally ridiculous.

I mean really.
And I thought P90x was challenging.


Friday, July 17, 2009

Did you bring me a monkey?

Father's Weekend part deux is all about you.


Where do I start?

First of all have I ever told you how grateful I am to have you?

Probably not.

I am so grateful.

Thank you for always being on my team.

Thank you for always making me feel important.

Thank you for telling me how lame boys were every time one of them broke my heart.

Thank you for believing in me.

Thank you for loving Corey.

Thank you for being our # 1 fan all the time.

We appreciate ALL that you have done for us.

I will miss you driving me to the airport and picking me up in Salt Lake.

Thank you for giving me so many blessings.

I will cherish them always.

Thank you for always setting such a good example.

Thank you for always accepting me.

Thank you for teaching me how to be funny.

Cause let's face it.

We're funny.

Thank you for teaching me how to embrace new beginnings and fresh starts.

I've had quite a few this year huh?

Thank you for long talks and words of encouragement.

I couldn't have asked for a better stepdad.

But to be honest lets face it.

You were never a stepdad.

Just an extra dad.

I love you .

Now for you Grandpa Middleton.

Man we miss you.

I didn't always get to see you, but it's extra hard knowing you are gone now.

Thank you for your constantly shared testimony.

Thank you for finding lessons in every situation and always teaching us.

Thank you for your example.

I watched the soldier hand grandma the flag at your services.

Thank you for serving our country.

Thank you for being such a terrific husband/father/brother/grandpa.

Thank you for loving each of us with your whole heart and caring deeply about our success.

I love you Grandpa.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Father's Weekend

Okay so to be fair I guess you could say 'Father's Week' is technically now 'Father's Weekend'.

Trying to get Corey off my computer during the day is like trying to pry a corn dog from a fat kid at the state fair.

He is constantly searching for jobs. Constantly.

He just 'wants to get a job is all'. And you gotta respect that.

So for my first Father Post I shall be honoring you Dad.


To start off I have one question.

Were you absolutely terrified when you saw how big my ears were?

Don't lie.

I asked Corey the other day what he hoped for our children and he said;

"I hope they get my ears Krystle."


Don't deny it Corey. You can't take it back. What's done is done. What's said is said.

But it's okay cause I hope they get MY personality. (and hairline).

Dad I love that you are so tall. And strong.

I love that you are our # 1 fan. All the time.

I love that you encourage each of us to set goals. And to reach them.

I love that you study and read. I love that you are so knowledgeable.

I love that you embrace the fact that 5 out of 6 of your children are girls, instead of wishing for more boys.

I love that education is important to you.

I love your testimony. I love that you aren't afraid to share it.

I love that you believe in us. All the time. When we may not even believe in ourselves.

I love that you also see potential in us.

I love that you don't give up on us. Ever.

I love that you are so excited to finally be a Grandpa.

I love that you gave Ashley's kid cake even when she said no. Uncle Doug is so cool.

I love trips to the cabin with you. Even if it is in a lame motor home that says 'roughin' it smoothly' on the side.

I loved going fishing with you.

I love that you teach us to laugh at ourselves.

I am so grateful for you Dad.

I know it is a month late but Happy Father's Day again.

I love you.

Monday, July 13, 2009

I'll Go Where Hugo.....

Yesterday Mr. Johnson turned 33.

But since it's Father's Week I'd like to combine that in my post as well.

A post to my future children;

There are some thing you should know about your dad.

Things like...

You should know he will always close his eyes while making his birthday wish.

He's just old school like that.

He will always brag about what a 'phenomenal' golfer he is.

Then he'll make you go watch so he can prove it.

He is an amazing golfer.

He will always do his best at being your Dad.

He will love you the best he knows how.

He will teach you and help you grow to the best of his abilities.

He will do his best to provide you with tools to help you become successful well rounded adults.

He will always non-chalantly pose for pictures.

That's just how he rolls.

When you are feeling sad, or down and out....

He will always have a camp out with you.

Let's face it?

Who doesn't love a good camp out?

Corey and I camped out for our first 2 months in Utah.

I was missing my family in Arizona bad.

It was his way of cheering me up.

He will always listen to your problems.

WARNING: He is a problem solver so beware.

He will always have a 'contingency plan'.

He will always be so proud of you.

Proud to call you his children.

Proud to be your Dad.

Happy Birthday/Father's day

To the Love of my life and Father of my future children.

You are totally my BFF.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Goodbye Twin Falls....



I will not miss you.

Funny story.

Corey and I were loading the couch into the back of the uhaul.

He decided he needed tennis shoes on. So we set the couch down on the driveway.

Corey is somewhat of a whiner. I mean seriously he needed closed toed shoes?

What a whimp.

I was thinking this all to myself while homeboy was inside lacing up his sneaks.

Forget it, I thought. I will load this couch by myself.

And then I did.

All while wearing my sparkle flip flops.

I had hoisted the couch into the back of the uhaul and was lounging on it when Corey reappeared outside.

"Did you seriously just load the couch by yourself? How'd you get it up there?" Corey inquired.

"Sure did princess. All while the neighbors watched." I replied.

That being said I would like to thank my audience of neighbors that observed as a 25 year old girl donning jeweled flip flops loaded her couch in a 17 foot uhaul by herself. I couldn't have done it without you. Oh wait.... I did.

We decided to move to Minnesota.

We are currently free loading and squatting in a basement belonging to Corey's brother.

The whole drive to Minnesota I prayed that we were making the right decision.

Upon arrival we were greeted by family that was excited to see us.

When we slid open the uhaul door it became some sort of neighbor magnet.

And they began helping.

I immediately felt peace.

I realized we were in a place where people were excited to have us and welcome us in.

I could not be more grateful for the people that helped us unpack and unhook our trailer.

I feel absolutely positive that we have made the right decision.

To my clients. Do not panic. I will still be down once a month. I love you too much.

Father's Week

I have decided next week will be Father's Week.

I will be honoring some of my favorite Dad's.

Until then check this out. I laughed forever when I saw this.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Little Miss Rylie

Little Miss Rylie

You are getting so big.

And Smiley.

Okay, maybe not smiley all the time?

You are super smiley when your mom shares secrets with you.

What was she whispering?

Maybe she was telling you how much we all love you.

Ya, that's probably it.

Taking your pictures was quite an adventure.

I may or may not have had just as much fun...

Sucking the helium out of your balloons with your mother.

Which you should never do Miss Rylie.

It kills your brain cells.