Friday, July 30, 2010

Did I tell you about that one time?

In high school I refused to use my locker.

I used to get nervous about being late to class.

Like really, really nervous.

I've since been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

So...maybe that explains some things from back in the day.

Or maybe it's an excuse. Not really sure.

Anyways I literally used to carry ALL of my books in my backpack. I bet it weighed 50 pounds.

It was always totally bulging.

In fact, my dad #2 used to make fun of me for it.

Technically he's my 'stepdad' but that's such an ugly word. However, I don't want you thinking I have two dads' and that they are gay. Not that being gay is bad. That's just not the case with my dads'.

Back on track here.

One time I swear my heavy backpack saved my life. I was climbing up the cement stairs to our apartment and I missed the top step;

I then proceeded to tumble down 15 cement stairs and landed on my back(pack). I'm pretty sure I could have been paralyzed. Okay maybe not injured that severely but it could've been worse.
It could've been better? But it definitely could have been worse :)

Dad #2 insisted that the weight of the backpack is what caused me to fall ALL the way down the stairs. I will eternally disagree. It saved my life.

So there's a little background to prepare you for my next story.

I've always been a packer I guess. Overstuffed my backpack in high school and since then it's transferred over to my purses.

I always have way too much crap in my purse. Kylee stood on the scale with my purse a couple of months ago. When I took the purse away from her she weighed ten pounds less.

Ten pounds? Really what could I need so badly that caused my purse to weigh ten pounds?


Anyways so a few years ago I walked myself in to Target with my heavy purse.

I decided I really needed to go to the restroom. So I cautiously glanced at the Women's room door trying to debate if I could hold it for another couple of hours (that's usually the minimum amount of time I spend in Target, anyone else have this problem?)

I couldn't hold it.

So I ventured into the restroom and reminded myself of my personal motto for using public restrooms. Are you ready ladies?

Hover, unless you're going to cover.

So seeing as how I had to go super bad I decided to hover (TMI? sorry, stop reading then).

I hung my ginormous and morbidly obese purse on the hook of the door.

Then I put my head down and got to business.

I'm not sure if I had drank 4 gallons of water earlier that day or what but I had to hover for a long time that day.

When I looked up (still going to the bathroom) I discovered that my freaking heavy purse had swung the door open and standing right there was a lady looking at me with her eyeballs about to pop out of her head.

"This is uncomfortable." I stated. Then I shut the door.

Please tell me that I am not the only one that awkward stuff like this happens too? I mean are you joking me right now?

I've since then tried to scale back the amount of crap I keep in my purses. When your purse is so heavy that the gravity of it's weight can open bathroom stall doors you have a problem.

You should share your humiliating moments in my comment box. That way when I reflect on my most embarrassing moments I can reflect on yours too.

Anyone? Anyone?


  1. Krystle, One day on the way home from the cabin with the five grandchildren who used to come with me, we stopped in Idaho Falls at Mac Donalds. I had to go to the bathroom so badly that I just ran into the room and thought at the time it was a pretty dirty restroom. Then as I came out of the stall, I spotted it. Yea The urinal. I had ran into the men's room. I knew I had to get out some how and when I opened the door there at a table was a group of people cracking up. I just walk by like nothing was wrong. So embarrassing!!!

  2. I've done the mens bathroom thing too.
    ONce when I was about 17 I was at the lake with this totally HOT date, and it was my time of the month. I jumped in the water did the skiing thing. The totally HOT guy helped me back in the boat I sat down looked down and my tampon string was hanging out of my suit, just laying there on my leg ..... sick

    another time ... yeah theres more ......
    I got out of the shower and noticed I had no under garments to wear so I wrapped the towell around my head walked down the hall to the laundry room, when I got to the living room my father in law was sitting on the sofa .... I was stark naked ,,,, totally not my finest moment

  3. haha those are funny. I never have any embarrassing moments...

  4. Your embarrassing moment is hillarious!!! I almost peed my pants reading it. Thanks for sharing.

  5. nothing rings a bell right now but thanks for sharing your story!! I loved it! I am sure I have plenty of embarrasing moments....!

  6. I do the hover...With all 3 kids in the stall with me!!! Love roadtrips just me and them! I tell them to turn around, but then I have to deal with Jake unlocking the door and opening it...Good times!

    Hilarious post btw!

  7. You are too funny! Loved reading both stories.

  8. i remember when you when pee on our bar stool, then ran out of the room when my parents got home, and i had to clean it up. thanks.

  9. Alright, so every time you go to the OB while your prego you have to pee in a cup. I'd done it several time before, no problem. Well, this one day I peed in the cup, they only need a little sample but I gave them a good sized one that day, lucky them. I went to put the cup in the little two-sized window door and the bottom of the cup caught the edge and spilled all up in it. Crap. I didn't know what to do. I tried to soak up as much as I could but then realized that the pee had most likely gone through the other side. I opened up the door and peeked at the opposite side of the window, yup, my pee was dripping down the side of their wall. I quietly tried to call down the hall to the nurse I felt most comfy with but instead the Dr. walks out as well as the receptionist and the other two nurses. I had to explain it to ALL of them. I totally got that uncomfortable giggle going and couldn't stop. The best part is that as the nurse is grabbing the cleaner to wipe up my mess she says, "Oh don't worry at all, it happens all the time". right.


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