Thursday, February 3, 2011

Pinch to Grow an Inch

Right now I lay on my belly in the middle of our living room floor and I debate.

It's quite nice you see, we usually have a coffee table right here in the middle.
I moved it tonight.

I moved it so Corey and I could battle it out playing 'Dance Central' on Kinnect.
Um ya I dominated.

Need you ask?
Back to the debate.

I've been debating whether or not to blog about this story.

Cause if the roles were reversed and I were Corey and he were me....

I would be embarrassed

but then I recalled Corey was once stating;

"I don't get embarrassed."

So really he brought this on himself.

Months ago Corey cracked our toilet seat.
Awkwardly enough it's not the first seat he cracked.

He cracked the one in the basement of his brother's house when we lived with them.

He somehow managed to maneuver and use it without getting his butt cheek pinched.

I was not so lucky.
It pinched me constantly so I swallowed my pride and headed to Home Depot and I bought the replacement.

Well I refuse to do that this time.

It's his turn.

I'm not sure how he does it.

How he keeps magically cracking the toilet seats.

I mean honestly Corey.
Pull it together.


That's the back part to this story.

Our toilet seat is still broken.
I took that pic tonight.

It's important to know the history though.

So about a month ago I noticed that whenever Corey left the bathroom he also left the hand towel on the floor.

I've been working on choosing my battles.

I opted to avoid this one.

I just thought to myself;

'Did I really marry someone who is so lazy he washes his hands and then dries them and drops the towel where he stands?'

Then I remembered to be grateful that he washes his hands right?

So this went on for about 2 weeks with various handtowels.
I would pick the towel up (hey my floor is clean) and place it back on the rack.

I'd wash my hands, then dry them.

And when it came time at night I would wash my makeup off,
Then use the towel to dry my face.

And then it happened.
I walked in on Corey using the restroom.

And there he was using the toilet and he was sitting on the towel.

He had that towel placed over the crack so it didn't pinch his buns.

My jaw fell to the floor.

He had been using that towel as a barrier between his buns and the crack in the seat.

And I had been using that towel to wipe my makeup off.

Joke's on me.

No wonder there is no rush for a new toilet seat.

**side note: Before anyone asks. Yes I wash my hand towels, after so many wiping of the hands I would wash that towel and put a new, clean fresh one up. This would happen with whatever towel was up at that moment in time when Corey felt the urge to go.


  1. That's funny. Only a guy would do something like that. He definitely needs to buy a new seat now!

  2. Oh my heavens. This just made me crack up at I know it's good.

  3. bahahahaha oh my gross this was seriously hilarious! Love it!


  4. Ohh the little embarassing but hilarious moments in life. What a good story haha :)

  5. This story is MUCH funnier when you tell it in person!!

  6. Hey, have him buy a roll of gray tape. That stuff fixes anything. Love you two

  7. Hilarious! However, if this happened to me I would be beyond furious at Chris and probably make him buy me something expensive to make up for it. Maybe you should ask Corey to show you his mad handyman skills by fixing your toilet seat. Love you--nasty towel and all!

  8. hahahaha this is FUNNNNNNNNY. just stumbled on your blog :)

  9. Ooooooh Noooooo! That is as good as the mom story of how she showed her 3-year-old where her chapstick was so he would stop bothering her constantly during the day. UNTIL one day she caught him, weeks later, applying said chapstick to the kitty's butt, saying "chapped". Wait. Maybe that one is worse. But not as bad as my hair! I NEED YOU!!! **kisskiss**

  10. Aimee told me you posted about this story. I don't know how I missed it. Best story every. I laughed out loud reading it. Again.

  11. OMG that is HILARIOUS!! i am going to tell everyone that story. I would start to bring my own towel with me to the bathroom everytime, just so i know where it has been!

  12. wow! that is too funny!!! LOL I could totally picture that happening in my home. lol Found your blog via a comment you left on Trey and Lucy. Very cute. :)

  13. LOL! OMG, so funny!I am laughing so hard! Thanks for sharing you totally made my day!


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